**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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