that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just gift wrapped bread.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
