sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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