so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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