turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
