and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
