Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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