So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
