So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Houston, we have a blender
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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