she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
