Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
