home. puking in laundry basket.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
