remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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