...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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