Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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