try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
