based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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