the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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