it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
