it wasn't lemon gatorade
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
