And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
