My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
