I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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