if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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