Do you still have your period?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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