you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
