I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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