This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
