Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
