The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I smell like Dick and happiness
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