i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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