You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.