I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.