Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (911) Bad night (418)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  whatever it's not my family

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  (847): this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment. (1-847): whatever it's not my family http://tfl.nu/qbfh
  Replies (1) Good night (2236) Bad night (568)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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  (617): She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her. http://tfl.nu/25nb
  Replies (123) Good night (1100) Bad night (4575)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3559) Bad night (735)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer

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  (203): Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/j23z
  Replies (15) Good night (1400) Bad night (2081)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)

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  (507): I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!) http://tfl.nu/tvr2
  Replies (10) Good night (3246) Bad night (685)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.

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  (623): I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard. http://tfl.nu/xo35
  Replies (21) Good night (2487) Bad night (689)
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  (969): View more from

  I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.

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  (969): I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight. http://tfl.nu/btdd
  Replies (5) Good night (1953) Bad night (904)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.

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  (989): Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/qu2m
  Replies (48) Good night (1336) Bad night (2915)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno

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  (617): If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno http://tfl.nu/05ob
  Replies (8) Good night (783) Bad night (408)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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  (+61): I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs" http://tfl.nu/gwkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1547) Bad night (436)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.

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  (202): Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice. http://tfl.nu/it26
  Replies (9) Good night (413) Bad night (2452)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

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  (613): All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head http://tfl.nu/1jjy
  Replies (5) Good night (761) Bad night (278)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.

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  (314): Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink. http://tfl.nu/x6ah
  Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (379)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?

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  (440): This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kffk
  Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (409)

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