Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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  (301): Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/iw4x
  Replies (33) Good night (1253) Bad night (3476)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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  (574): i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting http://tfl.nu/eus0
  Replies (23) Good night (3632) Bad night (1797)
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  (831): View more from California

  theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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  (831): theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it http://tfl.nu/8kg8
  Replies (216) Good night (34322) Bad night (2503)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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  (716): Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her http://tfl.nu/fzg2
  Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (3692)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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  (540): my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited. http://tfl.nu/8ftm
  Replies (27) Good night (16532) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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  (703): I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going. http://tfl.nu/roti
  Replies (45) Good night (1986) Bad night (4972)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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  (519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye
  Replies (12) Good night (3793) Bad night (1968)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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  (215): just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on http://tfl.nu/p7yb
  Replies (1) Good night (1170) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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  (315): yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms... http://tfl.nu/res2
  Replies (13) Good night (2036) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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  (413): she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust http://tfl.nu/ucdh
  Replies (6) Good night (1949) Bad night (848)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.

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  (843): You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you. http://tfl.nu/p8ms
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

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  (603): They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise (802): Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence. http://tfl.nu/7axp
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens

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  (765): Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens http://tfl.nu/v1vn
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE

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  (770): ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE http://tfl.nu/e3gt
  Replies (3) Good night (122) Bad night (196)

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