Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

  (619): View more from California

  Cremation, why do you ask?

  (760): View more from California

  I think we have a bit of a problem

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  (760): What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo (619): Cremation, why do you ask? (760): I think we have a bit of a problem http://tfl.nu/6d26
  Replies (15) Good night (1107) Bad night (1581)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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  (305): We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs. http://tfl.nu/e91l
  Replies (14) Good night (3466) Bad night (682)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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  (513): Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one. http://tfl.nu/i2d2
  Replies (14) Good night (4590) Bad night (1373)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.

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  (585): just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse. http://tfl.nu/g20v
  Replies (5) Good night (3964) Bad night (906)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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  (815): Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone http://tfl.nu/4nil
  Replies (6) Good night (2946) Bad night (830)
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  (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
  Replies (10) Good night (5657) Bad night (882)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  DOWN HORMONES. BACK.

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  (778): DOWN HORMONES. BACK. http://tfl.nu/nnqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (525)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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  (218): Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/7bi7
  Replies (6) Good night (430) Bad night (1639)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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  (317): You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow. http://tfl.nu/p8o5
  Replies (7) Good night (1571) Bad night (634)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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  (630): i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out http://tfl.nu/xbjc
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (488)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".

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  (540): Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!". http://tfl.nu/uep9
  Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (514)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while

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  (801): Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while http://tfl.nu/pxq7
  Replies (2) Good night (236) Bad night (428)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego

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  (413): The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego http://tfl.nu/wcwo
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (209)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.

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  (267): I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs. http://tfl.nu/gl01
  Replies (1) Good night (278) Bad night (461)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack

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  (920): I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack http://tfl.nu/hqr0
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (224)

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