Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles