shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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