I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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