he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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