yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You ruined the universe
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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