I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize