It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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