just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
