this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize