Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
