Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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