well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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