i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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