our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This baby is an asshole
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize