is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
