scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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