you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
