hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
