I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A bitchslap is in order.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
