doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Holy sore nipples Batman
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
