Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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