do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
