But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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