margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
