a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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