its not stalking. its research.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
