Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
