There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
