you didnt know i had herpes?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
